Q: What is a Root Grounding Meditation? Why do you use it for grief counseling?

Yvette: I like to incorporate a Root Grounding Meditation at the beginning of each session because it allows the members to be more aware of themselves and their bodies.

I like this meditation and practice it consistently with my groups as I find it helps reduce stress and anxiety. I have found it also helps people come into a sense of control over themselves and the space they occupy within their current physical and emotional environment.

Root grounding is a practice, and like any practice, we can all become better at it over time. I have found that root grounding helps people get into the current moment, become more mindful, and present.

I feel these meditations can help you learn to control your inner gaze. When necessary, this type of practice allows a person to get back into the current moment and away from flashbacks or unwanted memories. Negative or challenging emotions surrounding one’s loss may make it more difficult to cope with the grief.

Root Grounding Meditations are designed to revitalize your body and mind in ways that are beneficial to grief healing.

Q: What is the process for a grounding meditation?

Yvette: When conducting guided Root Grounding Meditation, I start by asking each person to visualize themselves sitting on a strong, well-rooted tree trunk (e.g., like a mighty Oak, a flexible-graceful Weeping Willow or a towering Redwood.)

The initial steps for the root grounding meditation are simple and can be performed effectively by anyone, anywhere:

• Make time for yourself. Start with 5 or even 10 minutes (you can set a timer if you’re doing this by yourself).
• Start by standing up and closing your eyes
• Picture yourself sitting on top of a strong tree trunk
• Go inward (clear your thoughts) some people picture themselves in nature, for others focusing on the tree trunk alone is more helpful. (Find what works for you)
• Take some nice deep breaths
• Focus on the energy in your body; imagine that it is flowing down your back into the earth
• Picture the tree as an extension of your body, extending through your feet
• Continue to imagine the tree trunk traveling down through Earth until your trunk finally reaches the center of the Earth
• While you are breathing, let any negative feelings escape your body. Leave any feelings of pain, frustration, anger, or bitterness in the center of the Earth
• Push your energy upward. Imagine Earth’s energy flowing back up through your trunk

We believe a tree visualization can be helpful for those in spousal grief support because of its centering focus. Trees are also a symbol of growth and renewal.

I explain to my group that death is the first season because the initial grief period is the mourning season. To start, this meditation practice, many grieving individuals will picture a tree standing bare in winter.

As time passes many begin to imagine their tree traveling through the changing seasons as they travel through, and with, their grief.

Q: What are the emotional benefits of a grounding meditation for grief?

Yvette: The benefits of grounded meditation for grief include reducing anxiety, an increase in emotional and mental clarity, increased emotional feelings of peacefulness and calm, heightened awareness, and a sense of deeper connection.

I encourage our bereavement group participants to practice grounding meditation daily I believe it will help them see that there is a path to an enriched life.

Through this meditation two participants bonded by practicing this meditation. I encourage group members to connect with each other when we are not in session because it’s critical to have a community for support.

Q: Is Root Grounding something you can do when you feel overwhelmed with grief?

Yvette: I hear this statement from group members quite often, “I feel stress”. If the person experiencing grief feels stressed all the time and is still feeling anxious, this will be a good tool for them to add to their personal toolset.

There is no quick fix for grief. Grief is a process but there are things you can do to help manage your grief.

I was an eyewitness to the terror attacks on Sept. 11, 2001. I stood on the 25th floor of my office five blocks south of the World Trade Center and saw everything from the first fireball to the cloud of smoke and debris that enveloped Lower Manhattan after the second tower fell. I knew how fortunate I was that day to be able to walk home in the safe embrace of my husband. I knew I had to take on something bigger than myself… I had to express gratitude in a real and tangible way.

In the field of grief and bereavement, we talk about making meaning from loss. We examine the ways in which a death or non-death loss has affected us, and how we find meaning in our lives in the face of this loss. As human beings we seek out meaning because it helps us construct our narratives. My story is not a unique one, but it has allowed me to find purpose in my life and ultimately bring me to Calvary Hospital.

When 9/11 happened, I was working as the Director of Communications for New York’s Holocaust museum. I spent my days immersed in the death and trauma of an entire generation. I thought about the 15 million individuals murdered during the Holocaust and how they did not die surrounded by the people they loved.

I thought about how, on that beautiful September morning, I watched nearly 3,000 individuals encounter sudden and shocking deaths they could never have imagined in their worst dreams. With the exception of a very few, they didn’t get to say “I love you” or “Goodbye.” The loneliness of each of these deaths across these historic moments affected me profoundly.

As I considered the vastness of it all, it became clear that I needed to make meaning from all these deaths, which seemed like an enormous task. I became a Hospice volunteer and eventually trained to become a vigil volunteer, sitting with patients who were imminently dying. These patients often had no one else, and this was my opportunity to make sure that no one died alone. I found this work transformative. It connected me to the universe in ways I still do not fully understand.

After 10 years of volunteering, I decided to leave my career in arts administration and go to graduate school with the goal of working with the dying and their families.

It was not a path I expected to be on at that stage of my life, but I have never regretted the decision for a moment. After graduating, I taught at NYU and worked in a group mental health counseling practice for two years before joining Calvary’s Bereavement Department in 2018.

The mutual grief we shared after Sept. 11 prepared us, unknowingly, for the grief we have known during the pandemic. During these last 18 months, that same sorrow, the weight of the dead, permeates every conversation, every decision…seemingly every moment. We want it all to end so we can get back to normal. But as we learned after Sept. 11, we can’t go back to the way it was. Perhaps helping the world begin to heal from its collective grief and trauma is how we make meaning from the astounding losses we have experienced.